First, I need to mention something about the Chinese way of forming lines.
You basically mosh together until you reach the point you're all trying to get to. At the Waterpark they actually herded us into two lines that envenually moshed together into another line that wove through some gates, then merged again to buy tickets. After that you get in line for a locker key. After that you get in line for someone to help you open your locker because they also have a key to it. So after a good 40 minutes of doing God-knows-what, we finally get into...DINOPARK.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone. It felt like I was in America, only the place was filled to the brim with short Chinese people in bad bathing suits. Around here, it is almost a rule, as well as a style that chinese men wear these half speedo, half boxer brief bathing suits.
The women wear the most unflattering swim suits imaginable. They cover their ass, but are somehow tight and loose fitting at the same time. The music they played at this "Family themed" park was Eminem and EZE Gangsta ghetto rap. The thing was that "Dinopark" was pretty far out on the edge of Shanghai, so one wouldn't think it would be totally wesernized. Apparantly, one would be wrong.
The safety standards are not quite the same as in the States, and that was actually preferrable because you could screw around much more. And lord knows if the chinese see whities screwing around they are going to join in as oppossed to reporting you to the scrawny life guard with a broken whistle.
They have this huge wave pool that gets FILLED with tubes stacked with Chinese people. I mean FILLED. Then the waves come and everybody cheers like U2 is about to come on. Looking out across the pool it is a mass of undulaiting semi-tan bodies with black hair, highlighted by the green and gold of the inner tubes. Eminem blares over the soundsystem, "**** you mom, you ain't got the nuts!"
When the waves start, the common goal is to link rafts and hold onto as many as you can. Why? I'm not exactly sure. But our fellow Chinese all seemed to want to grab onto our raft and say things like, "ARE YOU REAAADYYYY!!!?!?!?" before the 2 foot tall wave brushed against us. The man-made "beach" and wave pool is the closest thing Shanghai has to a beach so I can somewhat understand why people get so excited. They have sand and everything.
I really felt like I was in China when it came time to return the rafts. They had a guy with a megaphone screaming at the crowds of people mobbing the "Return Raft" counter. He was shouting something in Chinese (obviously) and people were actually listening. Had it been an automated system, they would have just crowded the front. He was on a platform above the rest, dressed in an official looking uniform. He went about his task with vim and vigor. The returning of rafts to their proper place is very imprortant to the over all order of a Chinese Waterpark. SO we followed the mans directions and stood in the wanna be bread line after hurling our tube at some poor teenager behind the barred counter.
You see, there were two lines to get into. First you drop the raft off, then you get into another line to reclaim your deposit. Elbow your way to the front like the rest of them and you'll be out in no time. So my friend did.
So that is a Chinese Waterpark. I hope you all have the opportunity to experience the weirdness that it is.