P.E. Newswire
"Sciencetechnews - In a report issued by the marine biology department at Monterrey University in Monterrey, California, shocking details of a new breed of great white shark are emerging.
According to marine biologist Joseph R. Pinkleton, certain great white sharks have begun "evolving laser guns on their heads as a new sort of attack mechanism. We've never seen anything like this before."
In the report filed, the department claims that the laser guns have evolved because at some point after the release of Austin Powers, somebody apparently tried to attach a laser beam to a great white shark's head, but failed. The laser remained in place and after successive matings, it eventually began to function after a generation of breeding.
"This is bad news for fisherman" said Roy Smith, a fisherman off the California coast that ran into one of the mutated sharks. "Well, it got on the boat and jess started shootin with that damn laser beam on its head! We lost 3 members of the crew before we were able to kill it. My job just got whole lot harder. That show 'Deadliest Catch' is fer sissies, and now we have the proof."
Once word of the new sharks got out online, sales of boats and fishing rigs skyrocketed in the Monterrey area, with most of the rigs thought to be purchased by Bill Gates."
