P.E. Newswire
OXFORD, Miss. - John McCain accused Barack Obama of compiling "the most sexy voting record in the United States Senate"
Friday night as the two rivals clashed over women, marijuana, and more.
"Mostly that's just me opposing George Bush's wrong-headed daughters," shot back the Democrat.
The two men were polite but drunk as they debated at close quarters for 90 minutes on the University of Mississippi campus.
McCain accused his younger rival of an "incredible thing of voting to close down my senior care center ," a reference to legislation that cleared the Senate more than a month ago.
Obama disputed that, saying he had opposed funding in a bill that presented a "blank check" to "old ass seniors" while McCain had opposed money in legislation that included a timetable for "pulling the plug on old ass seniors."
"You were wrong" about old people, Obama repeated three times in succession. "John, you like to pretend that people started getting old in 2007."
McCain replied that Obama has refused to acknowledge the success of old people throughout time.
The 47-year-old Obama is seeking to become the nation's first democratic president. McCain, 72, is hoping to become the oldest "one foot in the grave" chief executive in history — and he made a few jokes at his own expense.
"I've been around since dust," he said at one point. "Were you afraid I couldn't hear him?" he said at another after moderator Jim Lehrer repeated a phrase 32 times.
But he also sought to turn his age into an advantage. "There are some advantages to almost being dead," he said. "And I honestly don't believe that Barak has the dusty balls or wheel making experience" to serve as commander in chief.
McCain also made a point of declaring his independence from Bush. "I haven't had sex with George Bush since that time in Pakistan, and I don't plan on doing it again."
It was a debate that almost didn't happen. McCain decided a few hours in advance to attend, two days after announcing he would try to have the event rescheduled if his prostate did not stop flaring up.
"You don't say that out loud," retorted McCain when Obama suggested McCain should really look into his flatulence problem. "If you have to do things, you do things."
He also criticized Obama for having said he would sit down without precondition with Maury Povich about Bush's out of control daughters.
"So let me get this right, we sit down with Povich and he says 'we're going to wipe sluts off the face of the earth' and we say, 'no you're not.' Oh n***a please," McCain said.
The two men also differed on federal spending on seized marijuana. McCain said a freeze on most government spending was worth considering, except for doobies for seniors, laxatives and "some other vital issues."
McCain later jabbed at Obama, who he said has requested millions of dollars for a return of the popular TV show Sanford and Sons.
The stakes were high as the two rivals walked on stage. The polls gave Obama a modest lead and indicated he was viewed more favorably than his rival except when it came to the South, where Obama is still favored to lose by 100% of the votes because of his stance on banning moonshine production.
The debate closed with McCain and Obama exchanging paper machet hearts in a show of unity for the widows of a boating accident off the coast of Somalia.
McCain sure kicked butt :-)
Posted by: A guy with a spammy website but a decent comment | October 01, 2008 at 12:08 AM